Many marriages fail because there is a lack of trust between the parties. If you're getting a divorce, you may want to avoid litigation and hope that mediation will help. Keep in mind that trust, the thing your marriage may have lacked, is necessary for mediation to work.
It's not romantic trust that you have to worry about, but instead, a person's ability not to lie about assets or belongings. Mediators specifically work to gain both parties' trust to make sure they'll be as honest as possible without fearing repercussions, but if one party doesn't believe the other, then there is almost nothing that can be gained from mediation.
What happens when people build trust?
People who come to mediation and trust the mediator and each other to be honest and helpful are more likely to:
- Give and take in negotiations
- Share important information
- Become less defensive
- Be more accepting of help from a mediator
Even if you can't trust your spouse, there has to be trust of the mediator at the very least. Without some form of trust in the process, mediation is a wasted effort.
What can you do to build better trust in mediation?
Be as transparent as possible. Be honest about your feelings and intentions. Don't try to manipulate the mediator or your spouse with outbursts, crying or demands. It's best to approach this situation calmly and with the documents you're asked to bring the first time. If you come prepared, it helps to show that you're trustworthy and begins to build trust among everyone involved in the case.